Harvest Time

For some reason, this week, I am fighting some discouragement. I haven't lost my faith, I haven't doubted God, I'm not even depressed - just waiting for harvest time.

I grew up in the parsonage - watching my dad and mom ministering faithfully to small churches. Getting calls at all hours of the night, sharing whatever we had with any transient going by, working multiple jobs just to help ends meet, all while endeavoring to Pastor the small congregation. That included children's ministry, bus ministry, youth ministry, nursery home ministry, weddings, counseling, taking in foster children, endless prayer meetings, hosting missionaries, evangelists, and answering to a board that never seemed to be satisfied with my parents efforts.

None of this ever shook my faith, because through all of these things, I watched my mother diligently reading the Bible and spending time in prayer, (even while working as a waitress full time at the "Corner Cafe"). I watched my dad's generosity, and compassion as he ministered and answered any and every call, even while working two other jobs. There were countless problems in our community, in the church, and many hardships in the parsonage. But I always knew that God was faithful, and I never doubted His love, mercy, and goodness to us.

So, now, over 30 years later, as a Pastor's wife, I find myself wondering..."when, God, will I see some fruit? When will I see a harvest? Will I ever see a harvest? Revival? What is it? Where is it?" Besides my years in the ministry, as a Pastor's daughter, there are now 28 years in the ministry as a Pastor's wife. I look back and know we have preached the Word, taught the Word, faithfully. We have never had any other desires, or even hobbies - we just want to win souls and make disciples. I've had the opportunity to personally lead several children, youth and adults to salvation. But I've also seen so many backslide. For each couple as we have counseled through marriage difficulties, we have seen as many divorces. All in all, I have no idea what fruit has lasted.

Pastoring a church is difficult. It seems you spend most of your time trying to win people to the Lord, and get them plugged into the church, to make disciples, and then the rest of the time we spend trying to KEEP them. It all seems so fragile... it doesn't take much to make someone upset, or to disappoint them in one way or another, and off they go.

My desire is to see people passionate for the Lord. For the captives to be set free, for people to repent of their sins, and to have the joy of the Lord. To witness people being saved and added to the church daily; for people to walk according the Spirit; for the church to move in the same power that raised Jesus from the dead.

Oh, yes, I want to see a harvest.

In my calendar, I've waited over 40 years... in God's calendar - well, it apparently isn't "due season". So, I'll continue to sow, and pray that before I leave this earth, I will be able to see a glimpse of the harvest.